Dating a manipulator
Examples can include any variety of comments ranging from your appearance, to your older model smart phone, to your background and credentials, to the fact that you walked in two minutes late and out of breath. is the author of (click on titles) "How to Successfully Handle Manipulative People” and “A Practical Guide for Manipulators to Change Towards the Higher Self”. Reading this list is a reminder of what's really going on, because 9 or 10 of these are spot on descriptions of what she does.By making you look bad, and getting you to feel bad, the aggressor hopes to impose psychological superiority over you. Consistently Judge and Criticize You to Make You Feel Inadequate Distinct from the previous behavior where negative humor is used as a cover, here the manipulator outright picks on you. Right down to making fun of my older model smartphone!By constantly marginalizing, ridiculing, and dismissing you, she or he keeps you off-balance and maintains her superiority. (Her phone, BTW, is paid for by the company, while I have to pay for my own.) Would defense mechanisms fall under this category?The aggressor deliberately fosters the impression that there’s always something wrong with you, and that no matter how hard you try, you are inadequate and will never be good enough. The purpose of manipulative victimhood is often to exploit the recipient’s good will, guilty conscience, sense of duty and obligation, or protective and nurturing instinct, in order to extract unreasonable benefits and concessions. I took AP Psychology last school year and we had a mini section that talkes about possible defense mechanisms that people use when they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. this not only helped me see some people in a different light, but myself as well.Healthy social influence occurs between most people, and is part of the give and take of constructive relationships.
I also think that this type of manipulation is much more stealthy than negative manipulation. It's frustrating when we can see it but others cannot!It is working, she is the worst employee in our dept, possibly the entire organization, yet she has our supervisor wrapped around her finger and covering for all of her screw ups!